Hindi ko alam kung bakit ang hirap ng buhay. :( maraming pagsubok na parang hindi mo kakayanin. Yung tipong sasabog na yung utak mo kakaisip at mawawarak na yung puso mo sa sakit. :( gusto ko lang isipin yung positibong bagay pero tao rin ako na nasasaktan at nahihirapan.
Posts tagged rants.
He is the only hope I keep coming back to. A hope that I can finally have a whole family. The only person who understands what it feels like to still want a big part of you even though it will be lost in air forever - a love of a father. It may seem impossible but who can blame us for wanting something we’re deprived of. Somehow, it still crushes me. 12 years yet the scars are not healed.
In times of shitty feeling like this, I wish I had a pint of ice cream with a box of pizza with me. I always think that eating helps reduce stress, anxiety and sadness except the part when you’re in a low-carb diet. But even if I’m in that bullcrap, I still want to eat my comfort food because I deserve it!
Have you ever got a feeling of being tired not just physically but also emotionally?
I want a rest from the all the crap I’m feeling. It’s draining all the strength left inside my body. I want day when I can do my usual routine without feeling confused and hurt. But how would that be possible? My feelings are not like computers that I can shut down.
- I got scolded by Inang Reyna early morning.
- I got frustrated with my practicum grade. It was low okay. I deserve a higher grade. I did my written report comprehensively and my evaluation was also high.
- One certain person pissed me off. If you want to be respected, show me you deserve it. But basing on what you did to me, you are not worth every piece of my attention and respect.
- Crappy internet connection.
- No texts, no calls from Jes. </3 :( Where are you? Did I ever cross your mind today? :(
Malapit na kong sumabog sa inis. Unting-unti na lang sisigaw na ako. Puta. Nagtanong ako ng maayos, sinagot ako ng pabalang. Bastusan? :|
One of the things I avoid is getting sick. I hate headaches, fever, coughs and colds and loss of energy. Over the past months, I have never experienced getting any of that. I remained healthy by taking my vitamins everyday. But now, I have a sore throat. This is torturing me already. Gargling hot water with salt didn’t work so I was forced to buy these anti-bacterial meds. I can feel my immune system getting weaker. Huhu. God spare me and those who are suffering from illness right now.
A lame title is lame.
Anyways, my eyes are shouting for mercy. I haven’t got a decent sleep for the past few days because I’ve been working on my practicum report. I’m currently on Pract 1 and I still have Pract 2 pending. Problem is, I have more updates on twitter and plurk than my report. I always end up opening my accounts rather than completing my graduation requirements. Talk about procrastination. I have so many things ahead of me and I should be half-way from accomplishing them. I hate myself for being like this. I seriously regret not doing this earlier. I regret depriving myself long hours of sleep. I regret losing focus.